Games People Play

This topic can be presented as a lecture or a workshop, and adapted to any given situation or relationship: teachers to students, parent to child - or to other parent, manager to managed, therapist to client, supervisor to therapist, etc.

The Psychological Games People Play, from Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis, are predictable patterns of interpersonal behaviour that result in repetitive, familiar, frustrating, and ultimately futile, feelings and emotions. Games, anything from light-hearted (e.g. flirting) to lethal (e.g. a violently abusive relationship), are played for The Payoff!

The basic Game formula is: G+C=H > S > X > P.

Games start when a ‘confidence trickster’ (C) recognising a person’s weakness or ‘gimmick’ (G), is able to hook (H) that person into a predictable response (R), upon which, the Con then pulls the switch (S), which creates a moment of confusion, or cross up (X), and both players get the payoff (P) they were playing for.

Berne takes as an example two possible conversations between a therapist and a client: The client asks, 'Please tell me I'll get better, doctor.' The doctor replies, 'Of course, you'll get better.' The client replies, 'Thank you.' This is not a game.

The client asks, 'Do you think I'll get better, doctor?' The therapist responds, 'Of course you'll get better.' The client replies 'What makes you think you know everything?' This is a game.

C = the original question
G = the therapist's sentimentality
R = 'Of course you'll get better.'
S = 'What makes you think you know everything?"
X = the therapist's confusion
P = the therapist's frustration and the patient's elation at having conned her